Puzzle.blog

Category: Communication

How do you make people feel?

By Christian Staal

People are emotional creatures. When you’re having a discussion, creating a piece of art or helping someone you love, be mindful of your emotional impact on your fellow human beings. As Maya Angelou said: people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. 

More:

How to Win Friends and Influence People (book) by Dale Carnegie.

Origin of the Maya Angelou quote (quoteinvestigator.com).

The Tipping Point

By Christian Staal

Ideas spread like epidemics: From one person to another. The Tipping Point occurs when an idea reaches a level of momentum, where it takes on a life of its own, and keeps rolling by itself.

More:

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
Unleashing the Ideavirus by Seth Godin

The other side of the river

By Christian Staal

People tend to overestimate how well they understand each other. This is a dangerous mistake to make, because it reinforces false beliefs and blinds us to reality. Your best defense here is humility. When talking to someone who disagrees with you, don’t assume that she doesn’t understand you; assume you don’t understand her. It’s only by realising how little you know, that you get to learn more.

More:

Mindwise (book) by Nicholas Epley

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (book, habit #5) by Stephen Covey

The Curse of Knowledge

By Christian Staal

The more you know about a subject, the harder it is to empathise with beginners. Once you know something, you don’t understand what it feels like not to know it. Therefore, many experts are bad teachers. If you’re talking to a novice about your field of expertise, remember that it’s probably harder to understand than you think it is.

More:

Vulnerability is not enough

By Christian Staal

Vulnerability can be beautiful – but it’s not enough. If vulnerability is the only thing you have, you will come across as a victim or a loser. If you’re not vulnerable, you will come across as a smartass or a wannabe. Complementing vulnerability with bringing something else to the table, strikes the perfect balance: You’re awesome (since you’re contributing) and you’re relatable (since you’re vulnerable).

More:

Please… stop writing about how “vulnerable” you are (article) by Ramit Sethi
The Power of Vulnerability (Puzzle.blog)

The Power of Vulnerability

By Christian Staal

There’s nothing worse than a bragging person. If you want to connect with people, it’s more effective to share your struggles. Trying to make yourself look good, makes you look bad. This is true when it comes to writing, public speaking and conversations. Don’t be perfect, be vulnerable.

More:

The Power of Vulnerability (TED Talk) by Brene Brown

The Subtle Power of Words

By Christian Staal

 

Words create emotions, which in turn influence behaviour. Let’s say you want to be more productive. Telling yourself I can’t watch TV all day long” makes you feel like you aren’t allowed to do what you really want. On the other hand, “I don’t watch TV all day long” frames it as part of who you want to be.

More:

I Have to Do It or I Want to Do It? (article, psychologytoday.com) by Timothy A. Pychyl

Why you should say “I don’t” instead of “I can’t.” (video) by Daniel Pink

The Myth of Body Language

By Christian Staal

You have probably heard that 55% of human communication consists of body language, while voice and words account for 38% and 7% respectively. These numbers come from a study which has often been misinterpreted. The findings in the study don’t describe communication in general, but refer to talking about emotions in a specific way. However, the main message holds true: We shouldn’t underestimate the power of body language.

More:

  • TED Talks (book) by Chris Anderson (chapter 1).
  • Quote from Albert Mehrabian (the author of the study): “Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable”. See more on Mehrabians website (bullet #5)

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